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Freak Show, Geek Show（a kleinsen fic）ch.1

我的ADHD大脑让我连续肝了一章一万多字的kleinsen文（hyperfocus' a b!tch）

本身想发a站上试水来着🤔，但现在写到第二章莫名没动力了。所以先发lof上看看能不能激（bi）励（po）我自己写下去lol🤪（以及，国内kleinsen粮太少）

总之，这是第一章，算是个《Benny and Joon》AU（对，Johnny Depp演的那个），但除了电影的背景设定和部分故事情节以外可以说是一点都异模异样了😂

Ps, N多年没写东西了，渣文笔，见谅🙏🏻

Summary: Being a kid with social anxieties could be tough, but when you live in a small town where it goes undiagnosed and suppressed, things are even harder. Evan Hansen was exactly all of the above. His mom was too busy to be there for him, his dad wanted to put him in a mental hospital,  the people in town thought he was a retarded moron, and yet he still couldn't seem to figure out what was wrong with himself. However, things started to take a turn for Evan when a boy showed up on the front yard tree near his house.

Author's Note: This is actually my first kleinsen fic. I haven't written any stories for a while, so......sorry if it's kinda boring to read. The settings and plots are roughly based on Benny and Joon. I personally loved the movie back in middle school. No major out of character behaviors tho. As i said, it's only partially based off the movie. Evan might be kinda autistic in some of his inner monologues, but that's probably because I'm autistic myself. I'm mainly trying to write something similar to the entire sensation of two person who don't exactly fit in the norm, but understand each other in their own ways. A few made-up characters are placed between the lines to get the story going. Don't worry though, none of them are important. The first chapter is going to be long and....tbh it's pretty depressing. I remember going through the lines and thinking to myself: Okay...this is getting way too emotional. Anyways, gotta stop before the author's note gets any longer. Enjoy :)

ch.1 Not Too Heinous Night

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

“Hey, Cal. Ready for a new round?”

“Sure. Let's see what kinda trick you can pull off this time,  you old snitch.”

The bustling conversations from behind are loud and clear even with constant buzzings of the heater, or soft tapping sounds on the windowsill. 

Outside, was a much quieter world, it seems. No cars passing by, No dogs barking up at strangers on the streets. A tall oak tree sat a few feet away in the backyard, where a blue pick-up truck was parked under the shades. The remains of light rain from earlier that afternoon found their way to a lower level with the help of gravity.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

“What's with the boy?”

Came the icebreaking question.

Evan heard but didn't bother to turn or answer. Not because he was trying to form an angsty teen persona, far from it actually, but for the simple reason that he knew these people well enough to understand the question wasn't directed at him. 

This is something only people who lived in small towns would understand. The familiarity that makes things so predictable that it stings you with boredom.

Evan, of course, had no reason to complain. Especially when he, of all people, caused the most “boredom”.

Mom was bored enough to leave for work at five in the morning and not return until 10pm. He literally bored a total of twelve “babysitters” to leaving without their monthly payment over the past few years. And though no one told him so, Evan was certain that dad left for the very same reason.

“Heidi left him here so she can take the shift for tonight. ” 

“Must have been hard.”

Must have been hard. 

Again, Evan knew the adults well enough to understand that it's not work they're talking about. 

It's him. 

The same statement could be heard here and there overtimes. Either from Dr.Sherman, or from the school counselor. 

Having a dysfunctional 17-year-old to drag you down is hard. 

Being a single mother with a “retarded”son is hard. 

Putting up with Evan, overall, is hard.

He wasn't sure if he was retarded though. Sure, something is wrong with him—— The way he panics in front of people, the way he remains quiet almost 24 hours a day, how he failed Spanish last semester because he was too nervous to give a presentation in front of fourty people in class, but no, Evan wasn't intellectually challenged. He did well at school, didn't get himself into any trouble, tried hard not to draw too much attention.

The neighborhood, on the other hand, might disagree. Even his mother started to believe he's mentally unstable after what happened last summer.

“Why were you climbing up a tree?” He remembered the look on her face when she picked him up from the school clinic.

“I-I don't...know.” He knew, but he doubt if the truth would make the situation better. 

As the matter of fact, he climbed several trees over the years, specifically the old sycamore right beside their house. He just never felt the obligation to tell her about it. He's a senior. Fully capable of doing things himself, aside from ordering take out or going to grocery stores alone. 

“We can't keep doing this, Evan. We can't......Your dad, he's concerned——I'm concerned.”

“No, I know.” He managed to sit up from the bunk, carefully placing his left arm on his side.

“Don't you wanna change? Honey, it's been twelve years.”

It hurt, how she always pretended his problems were caused by his dad or their divorce, even if it didn't make any sense, even when it's actually just the other way around. 

He must have said “yes”, because a week later Heidi brought him to Dr.Sherman for their first therapy.

Great. Just what people needed to confirm his mental illness. 

Although, no one exactly said those things to him in person.

None of the gossips would be stated out loud or it wouldn't be a gossip.

But you do get the whole concept from their looks, the cut-off small talks that comes to a sudden halt whenever you pass by, laughters and snickers down the hallway at your direction. It was meant to be subtle, but for some reason, he heard, or rather, listened. 

When you don't talk much, listening is all there's left for you to do. 

Just sit there in a corner of a classroom, and feel your own existence resolve into thin air as the endless rants continues on, unaware of your presence.

Or maybe....they just didn't care enough to put in the effort of sugarcoating it more, because why would they? 

“Full house! Jacks over fours!”

A loud thumping on the table was all it took for Evan to snap out of his anxious thoughts. He flinched a bit when a side of his cast hit the window frame. 

“Shit, Denise..”

“I thought you were bluffing”

Evan turned around when he noticed the tense atmosphere in the room. “Denise”, who he had known more as Mrs. Richardford from across the street charged off in a  huff.

“Well, shoot. Sore loser.” 

“Nah. She's just had a bad day.”

“Bad day? I have to deal with a psycho for weeks.” Earl（Evan didn't know his last name.）grunted.

“Come on. Nephews are cute. I have a couple of those back in Omaha.” Syd, a waitress at Melissa's Dinners laughed. 

“He's practically an adult. I'd rather call a raccoon cute.” Earl rolled his eyes as he collected his cards.

“Speaking of which, care to bring him over to play? Denise won't be back any time soon.”

“Sure. If you wanna end up with him talking for two hours straight about some computer gigs shit.”

The three then busted out into laughters.

“Guess we'll have to call it a night then. ” Cal (a Ms. Caloria) said in slight reluctance, “That is, unless we get Hansen boy over there to play.”

Evan stared. Unsure if it's a joke or an honest invitation. Perhaps it was both, and could only be defined as either one if he answered, like Schrödinger's cat. Only that envoled less awkward social contacts.

Just as he was about to turn it down——of course he'd turn it down. He doesn't know crap about cards. Just the basics——a sudden burst of knocking on the door came to his rescue. Evan glanced over at the clock——nine thirty. That's his cue.

He walked to the door, avoiding eye contacts with the table of drunk adults.

“I'll take that as a yes?” He turned back, only to see four pairs of expectant eyes witn unreadable expressions. 

“Your mom's gonna be dropping you off tomorrow.”

“uh...okay?” He made a quick response before closing the door behind him, shaking off the thought almost immediately.  That was.... weird. What was even weirder was the sudden change in their attitudes towards him. Usually the three (sometimes four) adults just tend to  ignore him, and would only bring his name up in random jokes. For the first time, those people seemed to be oddly invested in his taking part of their game. 

Evan shuddered at the thought. He never liked those people, and had only given out the response so he could leave. But then again, it's not like anyone wouldremember by tomorrow, right? He's not exactly bounded by law after giving a vague “okay”.

“Hey, honey. Sorry, i got caught up with some last-minute schedule changes. The hospital's been pretty busy since June.” Heidi was waiting at the front porch with weary eyes by the time he stepped outside. 

She continued on talking as they both made their way to the car.

“No. It's okay.” Evan said as he attempted to force a reassuring smile, settling down in the backseats.

“I'll be home by seven tomorrow. Lisa's gonna take up my shift in trade of today's. We could go out for dinner by then.”

Attempt failed. She clearly saw the disappointed frown through the review mirror.

“Oh, um...i just remembered i had this assignment for the summer.” 

As thrilled as he was at the thought of spending time with his mother, Evan knew he couldn't keep making her come up with excuses to miss work. He was also well aware of the fact that there is no such thing as a “trade” shift in the hospital. You either fill in for the day, or leave it up to someone else.

“Isn't that due till next month?”

“No. That's the...uh....other assignment？Don't worry. You can go to work.”

At this point of the conversation, both of them understood the implications. It was almost like talking in codes. The only difference being, none of them would want to ripp off the heavy hints and speak their mind like normal people. 

“Okay then. I'll drop you off tomorrow if that's okay with you.” The compromise came a lot sooner than he expected, which usually means she's either too tired to be stubborn about it, or too busy the next day.

The rest of their ride home was quiet, just like any other nights.

Evan stared out the slightly dis-shaped view from the window, watching familiar neighborhood houses pass by.

Everything seemed calm and right in place at this hour of the night: 

dim street lights along the way, a couple of different fenses circling the houses, some boy sitting on the sycamore.....

wait, WHAT???

Evan turned his head back to where the car had just pass. Did he honestly spend so much time alone, that he's finally lost it? But as his sight refocused on the spot, sure enough, right there on the perch of two huge branches, was a person——

Dark-brownish hair, blue eyes, a pair of glasses slightly ascewed——possibly from the climbing. He was about Evan's age, wearing a red T-shirt, plain shorts, a shirt tied around his waist.

The stranger immediately noticed Evan's gaze and, seemingly amused, returned it with a smirkish grin, revealing a tiny gap between his front teeth. 

The two locked eyes for a second. 

Normally, Evan would dart his glance elsewhere, but at that very moment, when he was still trying to figure out weather this is a real living human or just his crazy imagination of some human-formed chipmunk, he allowed his gaze to linger on a little longer.

Finally, their few seconds of interaction was cut off by the growing distance in between.

Evan blinked. 

Turns out, a few more seconds of observing the guy wasn't enough for him to make a conclusion. He leaned in closer, squinting through the glass as the car slowly moved towards their driveway.  

No sign of him.